


Who's Who?

by aviatrix8



Category: Doctor Who, 涼宮ハルヒ | Suzumiya Haruhi - All Media Types
Genre: Crossover, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:00:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6735172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aviatrix8/pseuds/aviatrix8
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The SOS Brigade have a close encounter, possibly of the third kind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who's Who?

**Author's Note:**

> This is a old fanfic that I had up on my former writing journal, but since that has disappeared into the void of the 'Net, I'm archiving it here, for the sake of doing so... (BTW, this takes place sometime after the Tanabata incident.)

So, it was a typical after school meeting of the SOS Brigade: Koizumi and I were playing chess, the lovely Asahina-san was brewing tea, Nagato was calmly reading a book in the corner, and Haruhi was late, as usual... No doubt devising another crazy scheme of some sort.

All in all, it was fairly uneventful afternoon... Until the fragile peace was unexpectedly shattered.

"Move."

I looked up from my chess game with Koizumi; the voice was quiet but unmistakable. As my gaze paused briefly on Asahina-san (looking as cute as ever in her maid outfit), I turned to the corner of the room where Nagato was seated.

"Did you say something, Nagato?" I asked her.

"Move," she repeated. Nagato paused for a moment, then added, "Now."

It was only then that I noticed her gaze was fixed on a point somewhere above the table where Koizumi and I were playing our game.

Koizumi slid his chair back with a scraping noise; I attempted the same maneuver, but instead of gracefully sliding back like he did, my chair tipped over and I hit my head on the floor. Why me?

Biting back a curse, I was suddenly aware of a strange sound; a sort of _whoomwhoomwhoom_ noise. As I stared at the table in front (well, now above) me, something seemed to be materializing right on top of it.

It faded in and out, like a mirage; it looked almost like an old-fashioned telephone booth, but painted blue. As it solidified, I noticed a couple of English words written at the top; scanning my meager English vocabulary, I managed to identify the word "BOX".

Before I could make out the other word, the (for want of a better word) "box" had now completely materialized; it stood on the table, just barely clearing the room's ceiling. Miraculously, it had missed the chess set on the table; the pieces still sat on their board, completely undisturbed... That is, until the box's door opened, scattering chess pieces all over the tabletop.

I stumbled onto my feet, as a foreigner poked his head out of the box. (At least, I hoped it was a foreigner; even aliens could look human, as I was well aware of.) At any rate, he had brown hair, and appeared as if he was in his thirties or so.

As he gazed inquisitively around him, I could only gape at the man, as he began to speak.

_"Hmm, this looks like early 21st century Japan, isn't it? And by the uniforms, I'm guessing this is a high school..."_

As he turned to me, he smiled reassuringly, as if landing huge blue boxes inside a building was an everyday occurrence.

" _Hello? Bonjour?_ Moshi moshi?" he inquired.

I continued to stare at him in silent incomprehension. He appeared to be speaking mostly English, but far too quickly, and in an accent I wasn't familiar with (British maybe?). Like most below average Japanese schoolboys, my practical English was limited to a few choice phrases like "Where is the bathroom?" and the occasional swear word.

The stranger seemed to realize this, and began to scan the other occupants of the room, presumably looking for a more coherent response than my own. As he did so, I couldn't help but gauge my fellow club members' reactions as the foreigner's gaze lit upon each one of them...

Asahina, with her hand held cutely in front of her mouth, looked frightened, but not out of fear of the unknown... I could see the light of recognition in her eyes, and knew instantly that this was a _known_ fear. (I wondered what sort of "classified" information she had on _this_ stranger...)

Koizumi on the other hand, merely looked shocked about the situation (but probably not as shocked as I did, damn him). However, his hands were balled into fists, as if he were wishing he could use his ESPer powers at the moment... And frankly, I didn't blame him.

But it was Nagato's reaction that was the most telling. Though she lacked any expression (as she always did), there was a narrowing of her eyes that spoke volumes; if we were in any sort of danger, she'd be certain to take care of it... By any means necessary.

It was Nagato's reaction that made me relax, finally. If she recognized this... human (Alien? Creature? Whatever!), then surely she could handle it, all-powerful alien being that she was, right? Of course she could. Right. Right?

Having received nothing but mute (and quite frankly, hostile) looks from the rest of my fellow club members, the foreigner turned his imploring gaze back to me, clearly waiting for some sort of verbal response.

There was no help for it; I searched my limited English vocabulary, for something to say.

_"Who are you?"_ I asked him, in carefully worded English.

The man gave me a bright smile. "Who am I?" he replied, in perfect Japanese. "Why, I'm John Smith."

As I stared at him blankly, he suddenly turned towards the door of the room, his brow furrowing.

_"Time to go,"_ he said abruptly, switching back to (what I assumed was) his native tongue; I also couldn't help notice his cheerful expression had changed into one of concern. He turned around, blocking the doorway to the strange box; over his shoulder, I thought I caught a glimpse of another person, with red hair.

_"Go?"_ I could hear a woman's voice from inside the box, slightly muffled. _"Didn't you say we're in present-day Japan? Surely it's safe enough to come out and look around?"_

_"Yes, yes, but it was just a 'wrong turn at Alburquerque', as it were,"_ reassured the man, in words that were still incomprehensible to me. _"Come on then, there's a fascinating planet I want to show you..."_

As the so-called 'John Smith' closed the door, their voices faded away, as did their strange... Vehicle? (Time travel machine? Spaceship? What _was_ that thing, anyways?) As if it was never there... The only signs of its passage were the chess pieces scattered in its wake, and the bewilderment of us SOS Brigade members.

I turned to Asahina-san, who still looked visibly shaken. "Asahina-san, do you have any idea what that... Thing was?"

The lovely upperclassman nodded reluctantly. "I'm afraid I do, but it's..." She trailed off.

"Classified," I finished wearily.

I turned to Nagato, who stared back at me unblinkingly. She could probably give me an explanation for what just happened, but I suspected it would be long and involved and have words that would require a dictionary several inches thick in order for me to decipher; I decided not to bother.

I exchanged glances with Koizumi. He shrugged. No help there.

This all happened in the space of about a minute. Then suddenly, the door slammed open, and Haruhi burst into the room.

"I've got it!" she crowed.

"Got what?" I replied, trying not to look uneasy. Did she somehow realize what had just happened in here?

"I've got perfect idea for our next club activity!" exclaimed Haruhi, with a mad gleam in her eye.

She then frowned. "Is there something wrong, Kyon?" Haruhi glared straight at me. I tried not to avoid her gaze.

"What makes you think something is wrong?" I replied, knowing that I was failing miserably at feigning innocence; my eyes were shiftier than an Animagus changing forms.

As my eyes darted across the room, I couldn't help but notice that Koizumi had somehow got the chess set set up again, Nagato had her nose buried deep in her book, and Asahina-san was preparing tea at her station (rather shakily I might add, but that wasn't unusual for her, bless her sweet soul).

Everything looked perfectly normal, nothing out of place. Except for suspicious old me, of course.

Haruhi must've thought so too, because she then shrugged, as if to say, "Oh, that's just Kyon being Kyon", and then began elaborating on her latest hare-brained scheme, a plan which surely would get us all into a heap of trouble with the school, and goodness knows what else.

As Haruhi continued to speak, I couldn't help but tune her out, as I thought about the close encounter, possibly of the third kind, that just occurred.

That foreigner... He called himself John Smith, right? Surely he couldn't be... Well, me? Granted, he was older, but so was adult Asahina-san... But he was also quite obviously Caucasian, which I was clearly not.

Besides, I had only used the name John Smith as a pseudonym _because_ it was a common English name, a name you used when you were trying to conceal your true identity. It was a just a coincidence; it had to be.

Still, he had _introduced_ himself as John Smith... I found myself shuddering at the close call. If Haruhi had entered the room a few moments earlier, who knows what kind of hell would've broken loose...

**Author's Note:**

> This story was inspired by Kyon referring to himself as John Smith, which is a pseudonym also used by the Doctor in Doctor Who. I'm not sure the universes quite mesh, but I thought it might be interesting to see how the characters would react to each other...
> 
> When I started writing this quite a while back, I had intended this to feature the Tenth Doctor and Donna, though now I suppose it could also be the Eleventh Doctor and Amy, LOL.


End file.
